I know sooooo many of us crave things to be easier in our lives.
Some of us are going through deeeeep dark nights of the soul. Or facing personal challenges many can’t even fathom.
For that reason, I love this quote, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” – Wendy Mass
I try and remember this as much as possible, since I’ve also gone through my fair share of painful dark nights (and years).
Looking back it’s easy to see how it served me in becoming stronger and more wise. But while I was in it, I wanted nothing more than to get to the other side.
I craved ease. I didn’t want things to be so hard.
Here are the tools that helped me the most through emotionally challenging times:
1. Practicing Radical Acceptance
This meant cultivating an attitude of “being okay with not being okay”.
This doesn’t mean “giving up” or not moving forward and shifting things, but it does mean accepting the current reality as it is, even if we don’t like it.
Because what we resist, persists.
And acceptance is the first step in finding our inner peace again.
2. Being Gentle and Kind to Yourself
It can be easy to be hard on ourselves, blame ourselves, or feel a victim to life’s circumstances when we’re experiencing challenging emotions.
But instead of being harsh towards ourselves when we’re struggling, I try and picture myself as a divine child of the Universe.
From this awareness, we can see that we don’t have all the answers. We’re doing our best. We’re learning as we go. We have an innate innocence and are imperfectly human.
Self-criticism, shame or judgment towards ourselves, just makes things worse. (And is often just old mental programming from our upbringing, passed down from imperfect humans too who at their core are innocent too).
These hard times then become a beautiful opportunity to heal and re-parent ourselves.
3. Asking for Help
- I asked for help from coaches, therapists, teachers and healers.
- I asked for help from family, friends and community.
- I asked for help from apps, books, and courses.
- And most importantly I asked for help from Divine Love (insert your preferred name for the Source of all Creation here; be it the Universe, Spirit, God, Goddess etc.).
Offering up my challenges to Divine Love helped ease my struggle almost instantly.
It helped teach me that I didn’t have to do things alone.
I noticed that asking for help allowed me to see things from a different perspective too. That maybe there were solutions available to me that I couldn’t see from my personal vantage point.
Over time, these practices helped me get to where I am right now. A place where things are feeling in flow and emotionally easy a large majority of the time.
And while I’m grateful for this season of my life, I also know at a deeper level that life happens in cycles. All things come and pass.
I’ll continue to celebrate and enjoy this upswing to its fullest, while also doing my best to remain unattached. Because inevitability I know it’s possible that new challenges can arise, before the next expansion into ease.
So my question for you is: if you’re craving more emotional ease right now, where can you practice acceptance, self-compassion, and asking for help (whether big or small)?
Then your action step is to ask for this help in the next 24 hrs. And be open to solutions you may not be able to see yet.
If you needed to hear this today: you’ve got this!